


Finders Keepers

by PandoraButler



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Elf, Dark Elves, F/M, Fantasy, Light Elves, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, Profanity, Romeo and Juliet trope, based off of a video game, inspired by a video game actually, lots of profanity, romeo and julio lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Shizuo is a Ranger. Izaya is a Warlock. There is nothing to connect them. There is nothing to bind them. They should hate each other, but they do not.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by the game Heroes of Might and Magic V.   
> Some of the outfits and scenery from the game will probably be referenced a bit.   
> As long as you keep the image of Light (Ranger) and Dark (Warlock) Elf in mind...you should be good.   
> I never really played the game in the official sense so it really doesn't matter if you know the game or not.

Rangers and Warlocks used to be one and the same. That is, they  _used_  to be. Now they aren't. Now they are enemies. Now they live to watch the other die. Painfully. Terribly. A horrible death. Agony is wished upon the other. For what reason? Well, most have forgotten. That's how these things are. Once you begin to hate something, with all of your heart, it is difficult to change it. It is difficult to wish anything different. Why? Well, because that's how you've lived all of your life. You've lived every moment of every day  _hating_  this one thing. Why should you change your opinion now? If everyone else will continue to hate in your stead? There is simply no point. At all. To change a single thing.

This feud all started with a young man. An outcast. He was thrown aside for one simple fact: he had no magical ability. Strange, isn't it? How a group of individuals only needs  _one_   _thing_  to begin their acts of hatred. Why is the process of putting someone down so uplifting? It shouldn't be. But, people still do it. Shameful. Cruel. That is the way of the Rangers, even though, they are supposed to be the  _light_.

Some time had passed since this boy was subject to such torment. What did they call it? Bullying? No, that would be too  _nice_  of a word. However, through all of this misery, he managed to meet a wonderful woman. She rode on the back of horse, without a head! Imagine that! All of his life he had been taught to hate everything that was different. But, what if being different made him love it instead? That's what he felt. So, this woman became the first person, or thing, to pay attention to  _him_. Even though the women herself couldn't talk, he didn't mind. She didn't need to. He could sense that she cared for him in the same way that he cared for her. 

This was not to last forever. The Ranger's hatred for things that were different was too strong. They wouldn't allow this for much longer. Such a shame. He had finally found happiness, only for it to be taken from him. The woman wouldn't allow him to be tormented at her expense. So. The woman disappeared. She left. She left and she prayed to the gods above that this man would be kept  _safe_. He tried everything he could to find her. It was no use. There was simply no way he could find her. All because, he couldn't use the wonders of magic to aid him. But, unfortunately for him, someone nearby  _could_.

A witch. A powerful ruthless witch. She claimed to know the location of the headless woman. She offered to tell him, for a price. The man didn't care. He had no concern for his own safety. He only wanted to be reunited with his love once more. And so, when the witch told him her price, a great burden was removed from his shoulders. It wasn't as bad as he had been expecting.

You see the witch was lonely and knew her time would soon come to an end. She wanted someone to be by her side in her last days. The young lad happily agreed, because the witch had two things that he wanted: information and magic. 

Though he tried, he could not keep the dark magic from corrupting his heart. He had longed  _so_   _much_  to be able to use the wonders of magic. Now that he had found a way, it was too good to stop. This was not the right way. What did that matter? He finally had a method! He could finally use magic! It's funny, how darkness has a way of doing such things to people. The witch had given him power. So much power that he had lost sight of his original goal. Now, his only wish, was not to find the woman he loved, but instead to destroy the very people who had cast him aside. 

He went back to his hometown. He found others like him. He found others that were cast aside because of something that had made them  _different_. He used these people. He manipulated them. He started a war. A war that would never seem to end. The seeds of hatred were sewn too deep. Rangers vs Warlocks. Who could save them now? But themselves?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's in first person, unfortunately, because this is an old fic of mine. I generally use an ellipsis to separate POV.

****Running through the woods is no easy business. Let me tell you. It's even worse when Tom isn't with you. He usually knows this stuff like the back of his hand. He's a great guy. Yeah. In any case, he had an injury. What? Don't look at me like that. I can assure you that I _didn't_  get mad. I didn't get mad at him! Nope! I may or may not have gotten mad at  _the guy next to him_  and he may or may not have gotten  _injured as a result_  but I'm completely innocent! And I meant no harm, to  _him_.

So instead of my good ol' pal Tom, I'm stuck with Shinra. Great. That guy is always trying to dissect me every second. I swear. He is creepy. He gives me goosebumps. If I wasn't such a nice guy, I might actually kill him. Honest. Pinky promise. 

Anyways, we are trying to get some leaf or some shit for the Head Chief. The orders were to go into the forest, find some special tree, and get some fancy leaf. Why am I the one being assigned this mission? When I can't even tell the leaves of trees apart? Well, ahem, let me tell you...that...I have no fucking clue. I didn't pay attention to any of the details since I really didn't give a fuck. Hopefully Shinra was paying attention. I usually have Tom doing that for me. Shinra seems like that kind of guy. The kind of guy to listen to people talking...

**_Thump._ **

What the hell was that? It caused me to trip and land right on my face! I know I'm not that attractive but still, I've only got my looks to make up for the severe anger issues. Okay? There. I admitted it. I need a good face. AndIhaveangerissues. More importantly, what did I even trip over? Did I trip over someone's dead body? Shit. I tell people not to leave them out in the forest. I tell 'em this. Do they listen to me? Apparently not. If you are going to hide a body in the woods. It's simple.  _You bury it._ You can't have people tripping over bodies in the woods. Are you listening to me? That's just not right. 

I sit up and turn around. Yep. It's a body. It's a body of some weakass motherfucker with black hair and...wait...this bitch is a warlock. Well. There we go. I have no need to worry about his body being abandoned in the woods. It's time to kick his head in and call it quits. Is there a tree stump around here somewhere? I can grab that and beat the shit out of him. 

Or, that's what I'd  _like_  to say. But, remember that part when I said I was a nice guy? Well. I'm a nice guy. There you go. I reminded you. No need for you to remember. See how nice I am?

"Shinra, you're some type of shitty doctor, right? You should be able to treat this wa-" I begin, before being  _rudely_  interrupted by this creeper.

"I'm a scientist. Shizuo, I'm a  _scientist._  I'm not a  _doctor_."

Listen, Shinra, honey, I don't care what the fuck you are. You know anatomy or whatever the fuck it's called, right? You can stitch him up, right? That's all I care about. Understand? Good. Now I can pick up this little turd and we can bring him back to the village. I'm a little surprised at the fact Shinra doesn't seem to care it's a Warlock. Is that his scientist side coming out? Or is he wanting to experiment on this guy's body? Both. It's probably both.

As I walk down the path, I get the odd feeling that I'm forgetting something. Am I? Well, I'll just worry about that later. This guy needs some serious medical attention. 

...

I thought for sure I was dead. Why am I not dead? I should be dead. I should be deader than dead. I should be... _lifeless_. I open my eyes and find myself in a really strange tree-bed. This is nice, kind of, in a really Ranger-like-way. The room is extremely simple. That's familiar to me. I moved around so much. I never had the chance to keep a lot of stuff. It's like I never left home. Great. Sweet memories.  _Not_.

The door opened so I closed my eyes. Sorry, can't help it, I like to eavesdrop. It keeps things simple. If I opened my eyes it would just be awkward. What would they think of me? Sitting here? Perfectly still? They'd think I jumped back into the bed after examining every inch of the room. The goal here is to get them to  _trust_  me, not be  _suspicious_  of me. I didn't need to see a whole lot to know I'm in Ikekukuro. Magical. This is somehow working out a little  _too_  nicely.

Two people walked in. I can tell. Because, they were two very  _distinct_  noises. One person walked softly. The other walked like he wanted to beat the living shit out of someone. Were these my "rescuers"? My future is looking dim. Will they keep me alive for information? Do they even know who I am? If they don't. That's perfect. I won't tell them too much. Should I go for the amnesia act? That works the best. 

"Why the fuck does he have to be in  _my_  room? Why couldn't you have taken him to  _yours?_ " a male voice questioned. His tone was anything  _but_  angelic. He must be the guy that walked in as if he wanted to beat the shit out of someone. I can see that. Yeah. He totally could be that kind of guy. I wonder what he looks like. 

"Because, Shizuo,  _my_  room has too many people in it! And besides,  _you're_  the one who wanted to help him," another male spoke. Shizuo? Is that Anger-Management-San? Fun. 

No response from Shizuo for a while. He must not be able to think of a comeback, "we need to do something about his clothes. If he walks around like this, people are going to know that he isn't a Ranger," Shizuo stated. So you aren't a complete idiot, hm? That kind of ruins the fun. Doesn't it?

"I don't think he will fit into your clothes. I'll just give you some of mine, don't move, okay? I'll be right back," the other one stated before walking out of the room. The door closed. I could hear Shizuo moving over to the bed. He doesn't exactly walk with the  _softest_  of footsteps. I could hear him a mile away if I had to.

"You're a real pesky lil' shit, you know? If someone finds out about you, I might go to prison. Or worse. They could kill me," I wonder if he is glaring. I feel like I'm being glared at. Is he glaring? Or is that just his face? Now I'm curious. I kind of wish I didn't pretend to sleep. Remaining still while someone stares at you is hard. I tried to control my breathing and keep my eyes closed. In no time at all, the door opened, and clothes were thrown onto the bed. The door closed. That was quick. Too quick. 

"Geez, Shinra, you could have just handed them to me," Shizuo complained. What was he going to do with them? Was he going to strip me himself? Or wake me up? Well, I've got a few choices here. Choice One: Let this Shizuo person try and dress me while I pretend to sleep. Choice Two: Wake up so he doesn't embarrass himself. Decisions, decisions, this one is easy. I'm going to keep 'sleeping.' I just  _love_  elves.

The guy didn't do anything. Was he deciding whether or not to dress or wake me? You should just try and dress me. I need some entertainment in my life. I'm waiting. Come on. Strip me please. It isn't everyday I am a sleeping beauty. I'm going to get bored pretty soon if you don't do anything. 

For the most part my clothing was already off. Shinra, or whoever, probably had to take off my armor (among other things) to tend to my wounds. So I was just left dressed in a standard Warlock shirt and pants. Nothing too flashy, but just enough that people would question you if you walked down the street. Why didn't Shinra change my clothes earlier? When he fixed my wounds? He must enjoy toying with people too. That's the only explanation I can think of. 

Shizuo started to unbutton my shirt. Yes! Finally! But, he stopped about halfway through. Why? Did he just now realize how wounded I was? After a while, (what seemed like centuries) he resumed unbuttoning my shirt. Honestly, my bare chest isn't  _that_ beautiful thank you very much. Do you realize how hard it is for me to keep still?

His arm wrapped around my bare chest and his other hand started sliding off my shirt sleeve. I flinched. His hand is so cold. Aren't Rangers like always living in spring or something? Why are your hands  _cold_?! This is too much. I'm getting too bored. This isn't entertaining in the slightest. I'm abandoning my decision. I'm just going to wake up. Okay? Deal with it.

I opened my eyes and found his face  _inches_  away from mine. No, it would be more accurate to say  _centimeters_. Are those brown eyes? They kind of look a bit green to me. His hair is blonde. It looks bleached. It's kind of sexy, I must say. Why is wearing sunglasses with  _that_  outfit? No, why is he wearing sunglasses  _inside?!_  No wonder I can't tell what color your eyes are! Rangers. Ugh. No common sense.

We just sort of stared at each other for a while. I was waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. He was just staring at me while I stared back at him. Am I supposed to make the first move or something? I'll kiss you if you want. Will that get me a reaction? 

He must've read my mind and thought 'hell no' because he jumped up off the bed and backed away. Do Rangers read minds? I should ask him sometime. 

"I-i-i-i-i-t's not what it l-l-l-looks like! I wasn't assaulting you in your sleep or anything! I was just changing your clothes so that I wouldn't get killed for keeping you here!" Aw, he is blushing. How cute. But this is too funny. I can't help myself from laughing. 

"It's fine," I continue to laugh, "you don't need to be so flustered," I snickered. I might actually re-open my wounds again at this rate. This is concerning. 

"You shouldn't be laughing," he frowns. I can't tell if he is worried about my wounds, or if he is mad that I am laughing at his expense. It could be both, I guess.

"Are you going to turn around or do you want me to strip for you?" I wink. He blushes more and turns around. Cute. What I tell ya? He cute. Not that scary at all. 

"Do you have a name?" he asks. Uhm. Yes. I do. Thanks. 

"You know, it's not proper to ask before you tell me," I walked up behind him and tap him on the shoulder. He jumps and turns to look at me with a 'How the fuck did you change so quickly' kind of expression. It was only there for a moment before he picked me up and placed me back on the bed again. Well that escalated quickly. I'm wounded. Please don't molest me. It's dangerous for my health, ya know?

"Your wounds are pretty bad. You shouldn't be walking around," he says. I shrug. It doesn't bother me any. But he is considerate. +10 sexy points for you. I like that in a man. Please don't look at me like that. I'm kidding. I don't actually like that in a man. I mean, sure, I like considerate guys, but, it's not on my list of 'must haves.' Okay?

"Good to know you care so much about someone you just met," I smiled, one of my many fake grins.

"My name is Shizuo Heiwajima," he states, changing the subject.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," I say, outstretching my hand for him to shake, "my name is Izaya Orihara." He mumbles something like 'you're such a pest, like a flea' and wanders over to the windowsill. Just how much cuter can one guy get? I kind of wish he  _did_  shake my hand though. It's rude to just leave me hanging like this. Sigh. No one can be as perfect as me. That's another joke. I'm not perfect at all...


	3. Chapter 3

It's morning. The birds are chirping. I want to kill the sun. This is just an average day for me. Yeah. Why do you think I wear sunglasses all the time? The damn sun burns too brightly, that's why. Maybe I'm just weird. But that's how I feel, so, nothing I can do about it. Dammit. Where did I put those glasses? 

I turn my head to try and see my nightstand. I should have just fallen asleep on  _that_  side of the bed. I can  _feel_  the headache already coming. Ugh. Poor life decisions. Stupid sun. I wish you'd just blow yourself up or something. Go away. No one needs you. 

Izaya is sleeping next to me so soundly. He is kind of cute when he is sleeping. He isn't that annoying like thi- Wait a minute. Wait just a darn minute here. Why the hell is he so close to me? That should be a crime! I know this bed is a little on the small side but he doesn't have to be  _this_  close to me! 

In my attempts to get away from the flea, I fell off the bed. Good job. Shizuo, you're a pro. You should have just calmed down and analyzed the situation. Now you went and woke the bastard up! Now he is going to be a pest. Tch. I'm disappointed in myself. 

The idiot looked over the bedside. He is still half asleep by the looks of it. He yawns and mutters, "Good Morning, Shizu-chan," while rubbing his eyes. It was at this time he noticed that I was on the floor. Magical. "Why are you on the floor?" he asks. His head tilts to the side in his confusion. He shouldn't be this cute. This bastard is an idiot. Idiots can't be cute. That's against the rules. 

"Why're you in my bed?" I ask. I don't want to yell but I do. It's a habit of mine. I'm not even sure how it started. One day I just sort of realized that I yell a lot. Is that a problem? No? Good. If you said it was I'd have to kill you. Just kidding. I wouldn't kill you, I'd just  _nearly_  kill you. There is a difference. A slight difference. 

He doesn't answer my question. He just stares at me with a blank expression. Is he waiting for me to find the answer all on my own? I reconsider my question, and I realize how stupid it is. Is there a light bulb over my head? Because he started laughing. I don't enjoy feeling like an idiot. I know that you have no place to go. I know that you have no where else to sleep. But. Why does it have to be my  _bed?_  Can't you sleep on the floor? Better yet, why don't I just stop talking before I think about what I'm saying? That would save everyone a lot of trouble, wouldn't it?

"Shizu-chan, you don't have a lot going on for you upstairs, do you?" he says. Stop smiling at me like that. It's not nice. I don't like being looked down upon. And you're doing a lot of that right now. Because your literally looking down at me. Ugh. I hate you.

"Don't call me that."

"Idiot? or Shizu-chan?" playing innocent again, is he? This guy needs to stop. I have more important things to think about than wanting to answer  _that_  question. For example, what I am going to do if people ask about him? I'm not exactly the A-Class liar. Should I say that he is my brother? Nope that doesn't make any sense. I don't have another brother. I could just tell the truth, which is: I found him and decided to tend to his wounds. I can leave out the small detail that he is a Warlock. Yeah, that is what I'll do. Finders Keepers. Why not? Although, I wish I found a box of gold or something, because that would be better than this nuisance. 

"Look, I don't know where you're from but this is Ikekukuro and they don't want  _anything_  to do with the likes of you. So I suggest you don't make yourself known. In short, don't do anything stupid," I say while getting up off the floor. Who just changed the subject? I just changed the subject. Master of conversation right here. You should bow down to my skills. Don't actually do that, please, it would be embarrassing for the both of us. 

"So you care? That's cute," he smiles again. I want to punch him in the face. Control yourself Shizuo. Control. Think of all the not punching you are going to do today. Control is key.

"Make no mistake, I do not care what happens to  _you_. I care what happens to Shinra and me if we get caught for helping  _you_ ," I say. I start walking towards the door. He doesn't move at first but he gets off the bed and follows me. Good. Time to go get breakfast. I don't want to carry a tray back for you. That's just ugh.

"I'm starting to see why you don't have any friends," he says. Me? Not having any friends? I'm almost 100% sure you don't have any friends either. No. I  _didn't_  just admit that I don't have any friends. I've got tons of friends like...Tom...and...Tom...and, uh, Shinra? Okay so maybe I don't have  _a lot_  of friends. But. I can tell for sure that this guy doesn't have  _any._

"Why is there a giant statue of a Ranger holding the head of a Warlock?" he asked me on our way to wherever I was taking him. I think I decided we would get breakfast. But. I don't remember why we left my room to begin with. Maybe I just wanted to show him around, so that he wouldn't make a fool of himself for not knowing where to go. I honestly don't know. Which is sad. Because we just left my room a few minutes ago. Why don't I remember?

"Because we want to win the war, obviously. That guy is the first chief. You know? The one that was around in the times of the traitor. It's a symbol of hope for our victory."

He mumbled something, I couldn't really tell what it was though. But. It didn't really matter to me to begin with. We remained silent for the rest of the walk and sooner or later we arrived at the breakfast hall. Yeah. Just as noisy as I remember it being. I haven't been around for breakfast in a while. Usually I'm just in my bed waiting for the sun to be more tolerable. Perhaps I would have been better off being a Warlock. Aren't those people married to the darkness?

We walked through the doors. I scanned the crowd for anyone I knew. Shinra was here. He noticed me first. I could tell, because he started waving at us like an idiot. I walked over to him, so did Izaya. He had three plates on his tray. Either he is really hungry, or that is for us.

"Hello Shizuo and...uh..." Shinra started speaking.

"Izaya. My name is Izaya."

"My name is Shinra." he smiled. Why is it that whenever someone smiles I always find it so annoying? I don't think I used to think that. Maybe I did. Whatever. I just want to sit down and eat, so I did. Izaya sat down too. He was a little  _too_  close to me though. Can't do anything about that now. I don't want to point it out. I just want to eat.

"Oi! Shizuo! The chief was  _really_  upset about you not completing your mission yesterday. You might want to go and talk to him, before he calls you down there and makes things worse," someone said. When did he get there? And who the fuck is he? I'm not exactly good with faces and stuff. It's too much work to remember who people are. I need to practice that skill. 

"Who's that guy? Why is he so small and girly looking? Are you two in a relationship? Is that why he is sitting so close to you? Are you gay?" he asks me question after question. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today, because I'm in a very pissy mood now. Well, actually, I fell off the bed right when I woke up so I suppose that counts as 'wrong side of the bed.' Plus I wasn't on the side with my nightstand. So. There we go. I was on the  _mega wrong side_  of the bed.

Izaya didn't seem to be too annoyed about the guy's questions. Even if he was, he can't do anything about it or he'd draw attention to himself. I wouldn't have done anything either, that is, if the guy had stopped talking and left. But the guy just  _didn't stop._ He just kept going and going and going and going and going. Question after question. I wish I had the ability to quietly sit down and handle my rage. But I don't. So. Sucks to be you.

I picked our table and hit the guy across the breakfast hall, (and out of the door). It was a home run hit! Good job me! New record! 

"My, my, Shizu-chan," Izaya snickered, "I didn't realize you were so strong!~" he said, wrapping an arm around me. Can you not? Please? I have no wish to be hugged by  _you_. Or anyone really.

"Oh? 'Shizu-chan'? Is it?" Shinra snickered. Please don't take that the wrong way. He does it all on his own. Izaya won't listen to me if I tell him not to call me that. Ugh. Why is everyone so hung up on actions? All I did was hit a guy with a table...and I'm still holding the table, aren't I? Yeah. It's above my head, isn't it? So I can't even force Izaya off of me! Shit. 

"Let go of me, and stop calling me that!" I say, while throwing the table. I could have just put it down, but, what is the point now? I'm still mad. I still hit a guy with a table. I'm already going to get talked to about this, so I might as well just throw the table too. 

"Never!~" he lets go of me and takes a few steps back. Well that's nice. I won't have to pry you off of me anymore. Shinra is still snickering. I told you (mentally) that telling him not to call me that wouldn't work, but, you didn't listen to me, did you? I hate everyone. I hate Izaya. I hate Shinra. I hate the annoying people that are staring at me right now. Get it together, will you?

I kind of want to just beat the shit out of him. If he wasn't already injured I just might. Sigh. I should just sit down and relax. I want to, but seeing that satisfied expression on his face is just...well...it made me mad all over again. 

"IIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!" I yell, while running towards him. He sticks out his tongue and runs away. I bet he is thinking that his life here is going to be fun. Well it isn't. You better stop messing with me, ya little punk. I'll show you 'fun.' Little shit. Come back here so I can re-open your wounds! I don't even care anymore! I'll kill you myself! If I had known beforehand that you were going to be such a bastard, I would have left you back in the woods! Tch. Show some gratitude. 


	4. Chapter 4

I'm not exactly sure how we got ourselves into this situation, but, I think that Shizuo got himself in some trouble with the head chief. Or something like that. I couldn't care less tbh. Who cares if some guy with a long beard is angry at us? So Shizuo made quite a bit of noise and we crashed/broke a lot of stuff...I hardly see how that is a problem.

Lol. Okay. Maybe I  _do_  see how that is a problem. But what does that have to do with me? It isn't like I'm from here. Sigh. Anyways, we are currently standing in the court room. The head chief is glaring down at us from that throne of his. I wonder if Shizuo will get punished. He didn't kill anyone (rofl) so it should be fine (haha maybe).

"Do you know why you are here Shizuo?" the chief asked. His voice was pretty low. Is he doing that on purpose? Or is it natural for him to sound like Mufasa on drugs? Oh, so scary! I might actually start shitting my pants. -_- 

"Uhm, because I forgot to complete my mission?" Shizuo replied, with a small bead of sweat trailing down the side of his face. I guess he is anticipating the worst. Good job Shizuo. You might really go to prison for destruction and rage! Proud of you. Now what? Do I just chill around? Or do I run back to where I came from without any real purpose?

"And?" the chief continues.

"Because..." Shizuo was struggling to come up with something else. Does he really not remember what he just did? Is it that normal for him? Or is he just a  _complete_  idiot? "I demolished some stuff and nearly killed yet another elf?"

"Yes, Shizuo," I could almost sense the rolling of the eyes. I'm kind of wishing he  _did_  roll his eyes. That would be more fun. "I was going to give you a punishment for the failed mission but Shinra talked me out of it. You can thank him for that. He also told me about how you saved this guy here," the chief pointed at me before finishing, "when he was on the brink of death."

"Thank you head chief." Shizuo bowed. I couldn't tell if he was actually thankful though. He seemed kind of done with this whole meeting. Kind of like he wanted to runaway before something got worse. Too bad Shizuo. Something got worse. You didn't run fast enough. Poor guy.~

"Don't thank me quite yet. You'll have to clean up your  _entire_ mess and then teach this lad how to fight."

Shizuo groaned. He wouldn't be getting too much free time for a while!~ He seems ever so  _pleased_  with the fact that Shinra just dumped all the blame on him (lol). I held back a smirk. Who would think this brute could actually  _teach_ someone how to fight? This is going to be entertaining. Quite so. The only thing Shizuo can do is throw heavy objects and run around while yelling at the top of his lungs. Heh.

The blonde idiot grabbed my hand and lead me to one of the training grounds in Ikekukuro. It wasn't what I was expecting it to be like. (Not that I really had much in mind to expect.) Leaving the head chief so soon? That is a bit sad. We were all having such a good time too!~ I should've said something to get Shizuo in  _more_  trouble. But I didn't. Aren't I such a nice guy?~

This place seems more like a battle arena than an actual training camp. That's Rangers for you. They can't do anything without being super serious, even training. It would be so amusing to watch this guy pummel all of his competitors to the ground while in a fighting match. He wouldn't get in trouble for it either! Because it would be a 'festival.' I giggled at the thought of him trying to enter a strength competition or even an arm wrestle. 

"Did you hear a damn thing I just said?!" The protozoan asked me. Why no, I didn't. Especially if you keep talking to me like that. Can't you see that I was off imagining some random things?

"Ah, no. Maybe we should just start sparing. I'll zone out trying to listen to your idiotic rambling," I smiled cheerfully to balance out the harshness of my words. He didn't enjoy the look on my face, considering the fact that he grabbed the nearest thing around and started swinging it at me, (which happened to be a lamp post btw).

"Are you sure you should be doing that Shizu-chan? You'll get in trouble with the Chief again sooner or later.~" I jumped over the swing with ease. He seemed shocked. Guess you weren't expecting me to be good at fighting. Were you? Sure, Warlocks are known for their weapons but that doesn't mean we  _can't_  fight!

"You actually aren't weak?" Shizuo questions me. Uhm. Yes. Did you not see what I just did there? I would like to think I am not weak. Tyvm. 

"What exactly do you think of me Shizu-chan?"

"I think you are a wimp that got your ass handed to you because of that stupid grin on your face," Shizuo replied. Wow. Not holding back any punches, is he? 

I put my hand over my heart and stumbled back, mocking pain, "I am so hurt! My beloved Shizu-chan thinks so poorly of me!" I looked off to the side while putting my other hand to my cheek, shedding a small tear, (to go along with my act of course).

"'Beloved'? We just met!" he took another swing with the lamp post. I dodged it, but not as well as the first time, and fell on my butt. I'm still wounded. I shouldn't be playing around so much. Shizuo dropped the lamp post and ran over to me. Awe! He does care!~ I care about you too.~ Just a bit. Not too much. Caring about you too much would be bad for me. And my mission.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course Shizu-chan! Don't look so worried.~ Weren't you saying 'we just met' a few seconds ago? Why should you be so concerned?" I smiled weakly at him. He doesn't seem convinced by my beautiful acting. Roode. 

I burst out into a small coughing fit. I put my hand over my mouth and a small speck of blood appeared. That can't be good. My vision blurred and I fell into Shizu-chan. I have just made my condition worse. Great. See? This is what happens when you play too much with a guy you enjoy. Don't try this at home kids. If you know what is good for you, you'll listen to my advice.

One minute I was sitting down in the arena where we were training and the next I was laying down in Shizu-chan's bed with his face less then a centimeter away! Talk about strange. Hmmm, maybe I'll just play with him for a bit.~ (because I can't learn my lesson, ya know?) I wrapped my arms around his neck and touched our foreheads together, (kind of like the fever check couples do, ya know?).

"Well, Good Morning to you too Shizu-chan~" I whispered semi-seductively. Can't be too seductive. That would be bad. He would get too embarrassed and start trying to kill me again. Gotta love those tsunderes.

I could sense him getting tense. He was about to yell at me. Probably. That's so cute though. Wait. What? CUTE? No, no, no, nevermind. I must be imagining things. Yeah? Yeah. Right. I am. It must be the wounds. Yeah. That must be it. 

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!?" he yelled. That's not good to do that right in my face. I am disappointed in you. At least you don't have bad breath though. That would be much worse. I closed my eyes and braced myself for a slap or something but he did something entirely different. He gave me a tight hug. Not too tight though. He was probably being careful of the wounds.

"Don't scare me like that! You need to be more careful!" his voice sounded very uneven. Almost as if he was about to cry. I couldn't imagine him crying over something like this. What did I even do? 

He reminds me of a little puppy that gets worried every time you leave him alone. I'm not sure how that cute little creature compares to this giant brute but it seems to fit.

I wasn't sure entirely how to react to his sudden hug so I just stared patting his head soothingly, trying to get him to calm down. He didn't say anything for a while. Was it working? I hope so. I don't really want to have to runaway again. But. I think I would have to.

" **Flea** ," he said coldly.

"Yes? Shizu-chan~" I smile. Yep. I am definitely going to have to run.

" **What do you think you're doing**?"

Did he finally realize what just happened? Is he mad at me now? Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a  _Warlock_. He is going to blame me for  _everything_. 

Shizuo walked over to the dresser, (that was the closest object nearby) and picked it up. Yep, he is embarrassed. Total tsundere. I got up and ran out the door. Can't stay. Not while he is that mad. 

"IIIIIZZZZZZZAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" he yelled, running after me while holding the dresser. Great. Fantastic. I hope I can keep up this running. I might collapse again. He isn't very thoughtful, is he?


	5. Chapter 5

Living with Izaya is no easy task. Let me tell you. Ah, well, I'm already telling you, aren't I? In any case, it isn't easy. Why? Because I get angry at him for even  _breathing_. That's all. Just breathing. How can I get mad at someone for  _breathing?_  What kind of problems do I have? Should I go to a mental health hospital or something? I'm starting to think I might need to. 

He manages to piss me off with just a  _look_. A simple facial expression. What is wrong with me? I'm not even sure how long he has been in Ikekukuro anymore. A few weeks? Maybe a month? Or two? I don't even know. It just kind of seems like he has always been here, (which is a major problem for me because I'm starting to get attached to the idiot and that is not okay. Nope. Not okay). 

It's almost noon and this guy is  _still_  sleeping. I thought his injuries would've healed up by now, but he still seems so exhausted. Shinra has been giving him some healing potions (or medicine or whatever it is that Shinra uses to take care of people) and they seem to be helping, sort of. I can't really tell. But all the minor stuff is gone now. So that's good. Right? At least it's progress. I swear Shinra isn't a normal doctor though. Maybe a witch-doctor. Yeah, that sounds accurate.

I turn to look at Izaya sleeping next to me. I wish he would just stay sleeping,  _forever_. Never wake up you damn pest. But. Sadly. Dreams do not come true. Actually, I think he is going to wake up soon. He is mumbling something. Is that a sleep mumble? I'm slightly curious as to what he has to say. It is difficult to hear but if I remain quiet enough, and control my breathing, I should be able to hear it. 

"S-shizu-c-han..." 

He is making a really strange face. Like ultra mega strange face. Don't tell me he is having some perverted dream with me in it! (lol. Yeah right. Like  _that_  could happen.) That better not be happening. I'm not sure what I would do if that  _did_  happen. Should I just pretend I don't know what is going on? No. He probably is doing this on  _purpose_. Yep. I won't fall for this. Nope. 

"D-don't t-touch me there!" he squirms, trying to escape whatever messed up action he is dreaming of me doing. That is, if it was  _me_  that was doing it. But why would he call my name if it wasn't me? This guy is a pervert, but is he really  _that_  much of a pervert? Probably.

It was kind of seductive in it's own strange way. Great. I'm becoming worse than this pest! Honestly, who in their right mind just stares at someone sleeping while that person is having some kind of messed up dream with  _you_ in it? Me. Apparently. Guess I'm not in my right mind. ;-; I should probably wake him up, but how should I do that?

After careful moments of consideration (lol more like two minutes) I decided to give the guy some of his own medicine. So, I scoot closer to Izaya and lick his neck. Because why not. I can do what I want. He started this nonsense. I'm going to finish it.

Izaya shivered as a result but didn't open his eyes; he started squirming all over the place. Ugh. Just stay still. I'm getting tired of this idiocy so I decide grab his wrists and pin him to the bed. That should make him immobile. Would you just wake up already? It's very annoying having to wait for you in order to go anywhere. I'd leave you here by yourself, but unfortunately, I can't trust someone who smiles like the fucking Cheshire Cat. 

Izaya opened his eyes and frowned, "Shizu-chan, why is it that whenever I wake up you're always doing something in a seemingly perverted way to me?" he asked. "This is turning into a habit and I am very disappointed in you."

"I don't want to hear that from someone who has perverted dreams of people they room with," I say. He smirks. Again? With that half-assed grin?

"But that is the thing about dreams, Shizu-chan," he pauses, "they don't actually happen. So who is the real pervert here?~"

I've had it up to here with this shit. I lean down next to him; I'm about to whisper something in his ear. Let's see how well you handle this, "I could make your dreams a reality," I say. My voice has lost  _all_  of it's angry undertones so I almost believe my own words for a second. I would never follow through with them though. I just want him to stop being a brat. Can he do that? For one day? Please? That would be a real life saver.

Izaya doesn't react the way I thought he would. He doesn't do anything for a good few seconds. Then, all of the sudden, he frees his hand from my grasp and places his hand on my forehead. "You don't have a fever. I guess that means you must've eaten something strange. Or maybe you're an alien."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because that's clearly not something  _my_  Shizu-chan would say."

'My Shizu-chan' That's what he said, right? I'm not hearing things, right? Why would I want to hear  _that_  anyway? ' _My Shizu-chan'_ There is something wrong with this picture. I did hear that correctly. I did. Yep. Or I'm in some twisted dream. Okay. I'm going to take a deep breath and then-

"I'm not an alien," I reply. Good job. You're a real pro. That's the first thing you say? After he just called you 'his'? Fantastic. Beautiful. I'm feeling great already. -_- Good closure. Shizuo, you are the smartest man alive.

"How do you know you aren't?" Izaya stuck his tongue out at me, "for all you know they could've abducted you in your sleep and done experiments on your body! That could be the reason for why you aren't acting like yourself! Or the reason you are crazy strong to begin with..." 

"You're an idiot."

"I don't want to hear that from someone who can't hold a conversation without throwing something.~" 

I want to retaliate against that statement but I don't. He is likely to think that I don't have a comeback; I don't care anymore. I just want to get away from him and clear my head. I roll off the bed and grab my towel, "I'm going to take a shower so just stay put and don't be a pest," I say while walking into the bathroom. I shouldn't leave him alone. But. Like I said. I don't care anymore.

"Aw. Taking a shower without me?~ Why can't I come too?~~" he gave a pouty face. Bastard. Stop it. Leave me alone.

Sigh. I leave him to his own devices and shut the door to strip out of my clothing. I turn on the water and enter the nice hot shower. For some reason, I can't stop thinking about Izaya. No surprise there. That whole scenario confused me so much. Why did I act like that? Why did I say something so out of character? Why did  _he_  say 'my Shizu-chan'? These are the kinds of things you think about in the shower, (and in general when it comes to that flea). There is no way that flea likes me like  _that_. Right? No, more importantly... _do I like him?_ Like  _that_.No! Of course not! That's impossible! What are you thinking Shizuo?!

While I was deep in thought a loud noise brought me back to reality. What was that? Did that come from my room? Did Izaya hurt himself? Did someone come in and hurt Izaya? My body reacted on its own as I ran out of the bathroom, (luckily I remembered to get my towel). Izaya was on the floor. That  _IDIOT!_  How did you even manage to fall? When there is nothing to trip over?!

"What happened?!" I question while walking/running over to him.

"I...uhm...erm...." He was struggling to come up with an excuse as to what was going on. I don't want an excuse. I want an answer. I want the truth.

"Don't lie to me," I growl. After everything I have been forced to deal with when it comes to you, I do  _not_  want you lying to be to be added to that list. 

"Okay, okay! Don't look so scary! I was just trying to reach that shelf up there and look at whatever was shining." I couldn't tell if this was curiosity or if this brat was trying to get information on me. Honestly, it's probably both. Sigh. I ain't even mad. He is just that type of person. Well, I forgot that shelf existed so it can't be  _that_  important. I stand on the tips of my toes to get the object. 

It was a photo. A very old photo. Okay, not that old, it just seems old because of all the dust on it. I don't clean very often. Sue me. 

I noticed that Izaya's face was getting increasingly red. Does he have a fever? Don't tell me he is that weak that a  _fall_  will make him get sick! Wait...I don't feel my towel on my hip anymore. Did my towel fall when I reached to get the picture? Am I currently completely  _exposed?_  My face reddened like a tomato and I frantically picked up my towel to put it back in its correct position. Shit. Now I'm red too.

"Who are these people?" Izaya spoke, ignoring what had just happened. His eyes were laughing at my previous action even though he was just as embarrassed as I was. Bastard. Acting all high and mighty. I closed some of the space between us to look at the picture better. My wet hair was dripping droplets of water onto him but he didn't seem to care.

"Those are the people I do my missions with. The guy's name is Tom and the girl is Vorona," I explain. I sense a bit of annoyance oozing out of him. Is he jealous of Vorona? Per chance? He turned his head to smile at me. That was not exactly what I was expecting. 

"I finally learned something about Shizu-chan!" he exclaims. My face blushed lightly. Was he really that interested? I didn't think he cared, so I never said anything. Plus, he isn't that trustworthy. I have a feeling he bottles up any sort of information he can get his hands on, (to use as blackmail).

His eyes widened with a sudden realization, "Shizu-chan! You're going to catch a cold if you don't dry off properly!" he said, while going to get another towel. He pointed to the ground upon his return to silently demand that I sit, (he plopped down on the bed all pouty-like while pointing. I had to assume what he wanted since he refused to speak). Where did he even get that towel? I guess it doesn't matter...but still...

I sit down on the ground next to the bed so that Izaya can start drying off my hair. Somehow, it was very relaxing. I found myself nodding off. Sigh. I need to be more careful around him. He is a Warlock, just because we have been around each other for a while doesn't change what he is. I shouldn't let my guard down.

...

I must admit that Shizuo's naked body was quite attractive. I kept trying  _not_  to look at it but I just couldn't help myself!~ Those nice well toned muscles were to hard to pass up. So sexy.~ 

I can hear a small snore come out from underneath the towel. Had he fallen asleep? So cute!~ I think this was the first time I've seen him without his purple sunglasses tbh. He looks a lot nicer without them. Almost normal. Almost perfectly my type. Just kidding!~

I carefully struggle to try and pick him up and place him on the bed. Someone of my size and nature shouldn't attempt this, but, I can't just leave him like that on the floor. It is too tempting! I'll want to do naughty things. Ya know? That was also a joke. Don't take it seriously. Please.

I laid him down on the bed and put the towel over him, (like a blanket. It wasn't big enough for that but I tried to do my duty). Afterwards, I slowly (and sneakily) tried to get away so that I could explore Ikekukuro alone. 

I may or may not want to find some information on the Rangers. If I ever manage to return to the other Warlocks, I'll need to have  _something_  worth keeping me alive for. For me, that just happens to be information. It is the only thing I'm good at. Unfortunately, Shizuo grabbed my hand before I could get away and mumbled, "Izaya, sleep with me."

Sleep with what? WHAT DOES THAT  _MEAN?_ Who is the one with perverted side thoughts now?! Not me!~ Take that Shizu-chan, you're worse! I tried to escape his tight grip but he just pulled me down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me. Bad Shizuo, bad. 

The towel I had placed over him fell and only the fabric of my thin shirt was keeping our bodies from fully touching. He is going to brutally murder me when he wakes up. I know this, because he never thinks first. He always acts first. That isn't helpful for a person like me. He never lets me explain the situation! But, I guess, for now I won't worry about that. I'll just close my eyes and relax. 

"Sleep well,  _my_ Shizu-chan!~"


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm standing in the chief's courtroom. What did I do this time? I didn't lead anyone to their suicide recently. I haven't even killed anyone with my own hands this month. Or at least, not that I am aware of. Oh, I did drive that one girl insane on Tuesday. Is that something they'd bring me in for?_

_"Izaya Orihara," the chief said_

_"Yes? That's my name," I replied. Okay. I should probably stop being a smartass, but, I can't help it. He was begging for that response. No? Okay, okay, I'll mentally remind myself to shut up from now on. Think before you speak. That is rule number one if you're a Warlock, right? You'll never know if you might piss off the wrong person._

_"You are the most well known criminal among the inhabitants of this city. You have multiple charges against you for various unforgivable deeds," he speaks. Is this the part where I am supposed to care? Am I going to jail? Is that what this is about? They can't send me to jail if they don't have proof!~ Wait a minute, since when was I a criminal?!_

_"Criminal?!" I questioned. "I am not a criminal! That's so rude! I'm just a lowly little information broker!~"_

_"Shut up and wait until I'm done before you comment," he frowns, "I'm willing to offer you a job."_

_A job? Does the Chief need information so badly that he'd stoop so low as to hire me? Well consider me flattered._

_"We need you to go infiltrate Ikekukuro and find out any information you can on those pesky Rangers. Some sources are talking about a strangely powerful elf; we want you to look into him and see if he is dangerous to our cause. I'll send someone else in to pick up the information at the expected time. Don't worry about finding them, they'll find you."_

_This seems incredibly fun! I'm so honored that he would think of me to do such a thing!~ A strangely powerful elf? Hm, I wonder what kind of adventure awaits me. I hope the elf is at least cute. It would be such a bore to flirt with someone ugly and get information out of them. Wouldn't you agree?_

_..._

I snapped back to reality when Shizu-chan started waving a hand in front of my face. "Yo! Did you hear anything I just said?" he stared at me bewildered. No. I wasn't paying attention. Sorry Shizuo. Is something wrong? Why are you looking at me like I just grew three horns?

Shizuo frowned, "I have a mission today. Tom and I are supposed to go down and help setup the festival." I nodded, making it clear that I understood. But what about me? Are you going to leave me by myself in your room? Fantastic!~ I guess it is finally time for me to do some snooping around!~

"Don't look so happy, I'm asking Vorona to babysit you while I'm off working. Don't do anything stupid," he warns  _Aaaaaaand_  my dreams are crushed. I haven't done anything worth while in investigation since entering Ikekukuro. Chief is going to kill me. One thing is for sure, I really don't want to spend hours with that Vorona chick. I prefer Shizuo. Yep. I do. I'd rather have that brute by my side then some chick he works with. Do I look like some side hoe to you Shizu-chan? I better not. Tch. 

...

_So, how to infiltrate an enemy city?_ _Various ideas came to mind but I think the best one is injury._ _Light elves are so stupid that t_ _hey would help an enemy elf if they were badly injured._ _Now._ _It won't be believable if I injured myself._ _So._ _Time to find some people that hate me. Shouldn't be hard. I've ruined many of my precious elf's lives. But, who on my long list do I pick? I wonder...those people over there are high on the list of people that hate my guts. Time to go talk to them!~ How lucky for me! I didn't even have to search that long. Wow. What does that say about my character? Probably nothing good. Haha._

_"What do you want, Izaya?" the man sneered at me. Oh, that's good. Keep it up. I'll need that hatred to make this believable._

_"I'm here to offer you the chance of a lifetime! You want revenge on me, right?" I smile. He frowns._

_"Don't ask a question with such an obvious answer," his voice is laced with so much utter hatred that I almost want to run, but I don't. I need him to beat me up. Wow. I'll add that to the list of things I never thought I'd think._

_"Well, for this limited time offer I'll allow you and two of your buddies to beat me up with no retaliation!"_ _He seemed shocked when I said that. I guess he is wondering why I'd let him do such a thing. He didn't seem to think too much about it though and quickly called over two other people._ _This is going to hurt a lot._ _But, it's all for the mission, right?_

_I was beaten to a bloody pulp in no time._ _Well, this is certainly believable. That's a plus, right? The Rangers should have no problem sympathizing with me now, right? Sigh. Perhaps I should have gone about this in a less painful matter...but...this was the best idea I could manage in such a short time..._

_I decided to lean up against a nearby tree. It was difficult trying to walk all the way over here. Sigh. Someone will pass by this road eventually. I've calculated it enough to be sure of that. But._ _If I don't get treated soon, I'll probably die, n_ _ot that anyone would care though._ _I'm not exactly the kind of person people have **pleasant**  memories of. Double sigh. _ _I wonder if this was what the First One felt like when he was cast out by the light elves. Hm, probably not. I shouldn't compare myself to someone that great._

_I closed my eyes as time passed slowly._ _I heard noises off in the distance. This isn't good. I might die right now. I really **really**  should have though this through better. _ _Someone just tripped over me. That hurts you know!_ _I'm too disoriented and can barely open my eyes. Who are you? Oh. I guess it doesn't matter now. Good night world._

_..._

Shizuo is currently talking to a blonde girl. If I remember correctly, that chick is Vorona. Why is she glaring at me like that? And from the corner of her eye too! I'm hurt. I didn't even do anything to deserve such treatment. Guess her and I are going to have a splendid time together!~ (lol). 

Shizuo is done with that conversation, it would seem, considering he walked away and she is walking over to me. She is blushing slightly. That blush isn't for me, is it? I know I have dashingly good looks but I have a feeling she hates my guts. So. Is she blushing about being in Shizuo's room? Probably. I don't like this elf already. 

"Hello, Vorona," I smiled at her becomingly. I can be a nice individual, that is, if I try hard enough. Although, you can say that about anyone, can't you? She didn't reply to my welcoming smile. She is just glaring at me. Fine. Be that way. I see how it is.

"Do you love Shizu-chan?" I blurt out. Shit. I didn't mean to say that. I mean, I was thinking it, but if I  _said_ it that means my death. RIP Izaya Orihara. You were the most hated douche in all of the realms. No one will miss you. I make myself cry sometimes. Sigh.

She didn't say a word. Instead, she kept glaring at me and decided to pick me up by the collar of my shirt. She sneers at me. Oh. So scary. We have a real winner here. I'm so frightened. -_- "Whether I love  _Heiwajima-kun_ or not has nothing to do with a brat like  _you_."

"You're avoiding the question so I can only assume that you do, right?" I maintained my smile even though she obviously didn't care about it. I'm trying so hard to be  _nice_. The least you can do is smile  _back_. Do Rangers not have common courtesy? I can't help myself. I decide to change my smile into a smirk, "you're just mad because I'm on a first-name basis with Shizu-chan. You've known him a lot longer than I have, right? I bet that really hurts your feelings, doesn't it?" She threw me against the wall (and I fell to the floor). I crashed into it hard enough to make my vision blur. Shit. That ain't good. I'm a wounded man, you know?

"Now, now. Don't be like that! I was just stating facts," I stated. My vision is blurry and I can't even breathe correctly. Shit. I might pass out. I lay on the floor and clutch my wounded torso. I'm not bleeding, am I? Why can't I learn to keep my damn mouth shut?!

"You really shouldn't be so mean to someone that's not even completely healed yet," I say, "your kind just doesn't have manners, do they?" Well, there goes my cover. She doesn't know I'm a Warlock, right? So I should be fine. I could just be talking about blondes in general. Shizuo is a blonde. She is a blonde. They both use brute force. Sigh. Learn to live a little. 

"I know that you are a Warlock. I also know that you are here to gain info on our most powerful elf, Heiwajima-kun. Don't try anything, I will tell people what you are and you will die. If they don't kill you, I will," she leans down and grabs my hair, forcing my head up to look into her eyes.

"Oh my, so threatening, aren't we?~" I smile. I can't help myself; I want to cry and laugh at the same time. Shizuo really  _is_  the elf I'm supposed to be spying on! I had my suspicions but I can't believe they were  _correct_. What do I do now? Do I continue to spy on him? Well, of course. I don't like him, right? So what's the problem? We've only known each other for a short time. Why am I having second thoughts now? Why do I feel so conflicted? I don't understand why I'm thinking these things.

"Just out of curiosity, how far have you and Shizu-chan gone? Does he even know that you like him?" I ask. She is still clutching my hair with her hand. This could be dangerous, but, I'm already dying so what does it matter. I might just catch her attention.

"What?" she looks confused. Oh good. I might actually be able to pull this off. I'm so glad that it's working!~ Hehe!~

"Have you held hands? Kissed maybe? What about the Pocky-Game?" I smirked. She is becoming a bit embarrassed at all the sudden suggestions. Just as I suspected, Vorona is letting her guard down. "But, what if I told you, that your beloved  _'Heiwajima-kun'_  doesn't even like  _girls?_  What if I told you that he was  **gay?**  What would you do?" The shock in her eyes was priceless. I wish I could laugh at her expression. No, I wish I had this on film!~ 

"N-no! That can't be the truth!" She has gotten so side-tracked that she doesn't even realize the fact that she let go of my hair. That's great. This is my chance to take the switchblade out of my pocket and tackle her to the ground, (I had found the knife somewhere in this city but I don't remember where). I placed the blade by her throat and stared at her. My expression is emotionless enough to make the poor soul shiver. She clearly underestimated me. No, she underestimated  _Warlocks._

"But it is the truth, you see? Because I know. I'm living with him and we _sleep together_ everynight," there is a shadow across my face; the blade is far closer to her neck than she would like. She gulps. She struggles to remain calm. 

"S-s-sleep t-t-together!?!?!" her face becomes red from imagining all the things Shizuo and I may or may not have done. Elves are so cute!~ Don't become a fujoshi now!~ Although, it would be fun if you did. Honestly, I might read those fanfictions in my spare time. They are amusing, to say the least.

Lowering my voice, I lean in closer to her face, making her ever so aware of the blade nearly piercing her skin,  _"what do you think would happen if you threatened to kill the person Shizu-chan loves? He certainly wouldn't be pleased with you, would he? He might even end up hating you. Don't you think?"_

"There is no way you're telling the truth! You're a Warlock! A monster! A pathetic beast! My Heiwajima-kun would never fall in-love with such a creature!" I took the knife and stabbed the floor by her head, being sure to almost cut her ear. She jumped. She flinched. I couldn't careless about her safety. She is a Ranger, one that hates me for no reason, why should I care?

"It doesn't matter if I'm lying  _or_  telling the truth. Are you going to risk making Shizu-chan hate you just because you happen to dislike me? In the end, you'll have to choose, what is more important: Shizu-chan's feelings or the safety of your fellow kind?"

"How could I possibly make such a choice!" Exactly. How could you choose which is more important? And yet, that is the exact choice I am being forced to make right now. I have to choose whether to fulfill my mission or to spare Shizuo's life. My kind vs Shizuo. There isn't really much of a choice, is there?

The door burst open and we both turned to look at who was there. It was Shizuo. He looked shocked but that expression quickly changed to intense hatred. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?!" he yelled in that familiar fashion of his.

I quickly picked up the blade and slipped it into my pocket, without Shizuo noticing, and stood up. Vorona did the same. Great minds, no?

"I leave you alone with a person for a few  _minutes_  and you already decide to get on their nerves?!" He pinched the bridge of his nose and pushed his sunglasses up a bit. I was kind of surprised that he figured that out when I haven't even explained anything yet. Could it be?! *le gasp* He  _isn't_ an idiot?!

"What can I say? I just have a certain kind of charisma," I shrugged. Vorona punched me in my gut at that statement and I stumbled backwards. This lady just likes hurting me for no reason whatsoever. I coughed up some blood and that caused Shizuo to give me a worried look. Vorona looked from me to Shizuo, nodded, and then exited the scene. Well, that's rude. You could've at least explained yourself to him before leaving! Tch. Now he won't believe me when I tell him the truth.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Shizuo asked. 

I knew it wasn't really a question, so, I just started from the beginning, "that girl found out I was a Warlock. She was threatening to spread it around if I didn't leave you alone."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt," I shrug. 

"Well, I love her too, but I don't think she needs to protect  _me_  from the likes of  _you_ ," he said gesturing to the sorry state I was in. I felt a small twinge of pain in my heart. So he does love that girl? No, no, that makes sense since they seem so close. He even had a picture of her...

"Shizu-chan! You're so mean to me!" I pouted a bit. "Just because my wound has probably reopened doesn't mean that I'm weak! The rest of me is pretty much healed!"

"I wonder if you'll be fully healed by the time the festival is ready," Shizuo ponders. He said festival before but...

"Festival? What's a festival?" I tilt my head to the side in confusion. Shizuo looks a bit shocked. The idea that I didn't know what a 'festival' was must have amazed him. I know what a festival is...sort of...I know  _of_  festivals, but Warlocks don't participate in such things, so I can't really give anyone an exact definition of what they entail.

"Do they really not have festivals where you're from?" he asks me. Uhm. Yeah. That's right Shizuo. Couldn't you tell by the fact I don't know what one is? Honestly. And here I thought you might redeem yourself. But you really are just a dumb man, aren't you?

"I've never heard of it before..." I answer and it's pretty much true.

He smiled ear to ear. That's the first time I've seen him smile like that. I can feel my cheeks redden a bit. He places a hand on my shoulder and continues this grin of his, "then I guess you'll just have to find out!~"


	7. Chapter 7

No matter how many times I asked the dumb blonde for details, he wouldn't tell me a single thing about what a 'festival' is. Honestly. I just wanted a description. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is. Ugh. Hate you so much. Tch. I've tried  _everything_  to get him to talk. Tickling. Torture. Slapping him upside the head with a pillow. You name it. I've done it, well,  _most_  of it, that is. He just won't say  _anything_  and it's really annoying me. I'm starting to think he is one of those people that says shit like 'you're cute when you're angry.' That's the  _only_  possible explanation for his stupid smirk when I ask him a ton of questions. 

He  _did_  tell me that we were going to wear 'yukatas.' But, that isn't very helpful considering, I don't even know what a yukata  _is_. Well. Thanks man. You're such a great help. -_- I should just hack into a computer and find out on my own. Who cares about being caught?! I just want to know!!!

And so, the day of the festival arrived, without me being able to find any more information on it. What if it is some creepy ceremony where they chop off people's heads (lol which one) and place them on sticks?! (although that kind of sounds fun) Nah, Rangers are too innocent for that kind of shit.

Shizuo exited the bathroom dressed in what I assumed to be a 'yukata.' It was blue and had a black ribbon-y thingy tied around his waist. The outfit was loose on his body, so I could see his chest in all its holy Shizuo glory. Great. Just what I needed. A good dose of 'you're too gay for dis.' 

I couldn't help but blush a bit. What can I say? Anything that makes you (partially) naked makes you look good. Amirite? But still. Why the hell am I blushing? I  _have_  seen that naked body before. Is this just the power of suggestion at work?!

I shivered at the strange grin on his face. So Mischievous. I don't like it.  _I'm_  the mischievous one of us two. He took a step forward. I took a step back. Then. He jumped, tackling me to the ground. It was at that moment that I noticed the bundle of red cloth in his hands. No. If you think I am going out in public half naked like you, you have another thing coming buddy. I don't exactly have a sexy body. Thank you very much, but, no thanks.

"Izaya, stop struggling, I'm just going to strip you. No big deal," he, ever so calmly, explains. I still don't like the grin on your face. Can you stop? I have already mentally refused this sort of behavior many a time. Get off of me.

"Unhand me at once you fiend!" I yelp. Great. You're the master at this, Izaya. Now he totally  _knows_  you're flustered because you are acting like a Ranger in heat on a full moon (not sure if they actually do that but idec). I struggle beneath his grip but he just continues to grab hold of my wrists and force them above my head. Fantastic. Great way to start the day, eh?

"Stop moving so much. You aren't getting out of this so just accept it," Shizuo frowns. Ugh, he has a point. I hate it when he makes sense. This guy is stronger than me so no matter how much I struggle there is no way I can get out of this. Sigh. I might as well just sacrifice myself to the beast. 

My body goes limp and I let out a huge sigh, "my dear Shizu-chan, I wanted to save my body for the partner whom I might love one day, but, since you insist, I suppose I have no choice but to offer myself to you," my head falls to the side and I close my eyes for dramatic effect. 

"W-what?" Shizuo relinquishes the grip he has on my wrists and separates himself from me. Oh? That's no fun!~ I wanted to tease you a bit more. I smile, stand up, and start stripping. He doesn't look away or cover his eyes. I think I can see a little blush but I could just be imagining things. We are both guys. I didn't expect you to act like that. I'm not a stripper. I'm just disrobing. I'm not even doing anything sexy, for once. 

When I am down to my underwear he helps me dress into the red whateveritis. The ribbon-y thingy around my waist is really tight. Is he better at tying it on other people? Or did he somehow get overprotective of my body? Hm...

"Shizu-chan," I say while flailing my arms in the long red sleeves, "why is mine so tight and yours so loose?"

He blushes. Why? I didn't even say anything weird. "Did you have to phrase it like that?" he asks. Phrase it like what? I stare at him blankly, trying to figure out what the problem was. When I realize what he means I blush a little and look away for a moment. Shit. I didn't even mean it to be like that.

"You have such a dirty mind, when you look so pure," I grumble.

Shizuo loosens the ribbon-y thing and the whateveritisi'mwearingIalreadyforgotlol falls down my shoulder a bit. It looks like a vampire is trying to drink my blood. It isn't much different from the usual v-neck shirts that I wear but some of my chest is exposed too.

Now that I think about it, Shizuo has the same amount of chest showing as I do right now. Well, I am satisfied. I begin to walk out the door but Shizuo places a hand on my shoulder and pulls me back. I look at him and he is holding sandal-like things.

"Are you planning to walk around without shoes?" he raises an eyebrow. 

I smile before saying, "I am only going to wear those weird things if you put them on my feet Cinderella style," I say crossing my arms.

"Why the hell do I have to do that?" he frowns.

A fake tear slips from the corner of my eye. I sniffle softly as I wipe it away. I refuse to look at Shizuo and instead look off into the distance. "To think Shizu-chan doesn't care about my feet. I only asked a simple task. What am I going to do if my feet get scratched?" I might have a bit of an obsession with the theatrical approach to things...but...whatever...

He stubbornly refused to put on my shoes so instead he picked me up bridal style. "If you won't wear shoes, I'll just have to carry you everywhere," he walked out of his room and down to where the festival thing was being held. People were looking at us strangely. I didn't think he would do something like this. I'm a bit embarrassed at the moment because of it.

"Shizu-chan, people are staring! Put me down already!"

"If you had put on your shoes like a  _normal_  person we wouldn't be going through this right now."

"Put. Me. Down." I started angrily flailing my arms. It wasn't really advantageous for me at all. It just made Shizu-chan more annoyed.

"Would you stop making a scene already?! You're like a spoiled child!" And you, Shizuo, are just an angry man all the time. I hardly see how this is a problem. 

"I'll put on the damn shoes! Just put me down!" I hiss.

Shizu-chan smirked. "What if I don't want to?" Huh.  _Eh?_  He didn't say anything more and finally put me down. I finally wore the shoes. And we were finally at the festival. There were a bunch of lights and little booths all over the place. I hadn't seen anything like this before so I didn't know what to expect, but, I hadn't been expecting something like  _this._

"Woaaaaaaah, Shizu-chan..." I grabbed his sleeve and started pointing to things (and dragging him by the arm over to things) that looked amazing to me. "Look at that! And that! What is  _that?_  ARE THOSE GOLDFISH?! Why are there masks? Will you get me one?!"

Shizuo just laughed at me. I probably  _did_  seem really childish. But. Whatever. I'm from an entirely different place. Don't judge my life.

For a brief moment, I forgot about the war. I forgot we were enemies. When you forget things like that, you notice that these good times will come to an end. It happens in movies all the time. The music stops and everything around you moves in slow motion. I forgot my objective. I was here for information. I'm here to ruin Shizuo. The others seemed to disappear when I noticed  _that_  person in the crowd. She blended in so well I almost didn't see her the first time.

" _Namie?!_ " I whispered under my breath. I didn't hear Shizuo's concerned voice. His questions weren't registering in my ears. I was too focused on  _her_  at the moment.

" _She has come for me...for information..._ " I mumble. As if I was a mosquito attracted to the bug zapper, I wandered through the crowd and over to her. Shizuo was yelling at me but his words still weren't registering. I looked back briefly before continuing to walk. 

I shouldn't have looked back. I should have just kept walking.

Tons of people separated us. The last image I have of Shizuo is him reaching out to grab me. Vorona walked up to him and grabbed his arm instead, pulling him in the other direction. She sneered at me as she walked.

"Izaya-san," a female voice said. "I assume you know what I'm here for."

"Yes," I looked at her, "sadly, I know all too well..."


	8. Chapter 8

It's been three days since the festival. I'm still pissed off at the fact that I couldn't even show the dirt-bag around before he up and left. What was he thinking? Where was he going? And, why didn't he say a word about it? As much as I hate to admit it, I've been searching everywhere for him. I know he is gone but I just can't help myself. He has to be around here somewhere. People don't just disappear into thin air. Unless they do. But, I'm 99% certain they don't.

I took my pack of cigarettes out. I've been dying to smoke for a while now. Why am I not smoking? Because a nagging voice in the back of my mind keeps me from doing it. I can hear the little pest say things like 'Smoking is bad for your health, Shizu-Chan.' There must be something wrong with me if I'm imagining him.  _You aren't crazy, you just miss me!~_

"What did you just say you bastard?! Why would I miss you! Good riddance if you ask me!" I spoke out loud. Shit. Why did I do that? People are staring at me now. That's unfortunate. Damnit. I'm making a fool out of myself. It's all  _his_  fault. 

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want to look to see who it was. I wanted to ignore it with ever fiber of my being. But I couldn't. Because somewhere inside me I hoped it was Izaya. It wasn't. It was Vorona. Why the hell would she be trying to talk to me? Oh. Right. It's been three days since the festival. It's also been three days since she confessed. Vorona probably wants to hear my answer. I don't really want to give one though. 

"Hello, Heiwajima-san. You know why I'm here, right?" she said. Her cheeks were slightly red. She was blushing. That was enough to tell me my suspicion was correct. Izaya would call me an idiot for not realizing she liked me. Hell, I would call myself an idiot too. He told me directly and I  _still_  didn't get it. 'She loves you' he said. 'I lover her too' I went and said. Damnit. I'd also run away from me at a festival if something as stupid as that happened. I can totally relate. And it only makes me more mad. Why am I so dumb? Someone please explain to me why I'm so dumb. I need to know. 

"Yeah. I know why you're here," I said. This conversation would be the death of me. I didn't want to hurt her with an answer. She is like my sister. I'm not going to date my sister. But, that doesn't mean I'm out to harm her either. I'm not good with words. There is no good way to say any of this shit. 

"So, what is your answer?" she looked so hopeful that it physically pained me. Why am I feeling guilty when I don't even care about her like that? I don't like you. Don't look at me with that kind of expression. I have absolutely no reason to feel bad. Tyvm. 

"I just-" I started to say something but she shushed me before I could continue. Part of me was relieved that I wouldn't have to say anything. I was glad that she understood me so well. But another part of me felt bad. I should be man enough to tell her how I really feel. 

"It's okay. You don't like me, do you?" she smiled albeit sadly. I couldn't even say the word 'no.' I just shook my head. I'm a damn coward. "You like Izaya, right?" What? Why would you say something like that?

She read my mind and began to answer my inner thoughts. Creep. But, at least I wouldn't have to ask. "Well, how do I say this?" she seemed a bit flustered. "He sort of told me that you were gay. I didn't believe him. But, after you started searching for him these past three days...it kind of made sense, you know?"

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, "I'm going to kill him when I find him."

"You don't like him? Or, do you just not realize it yourself?" she asked me. Of course I don't like him. Why would I like him? 

"I don't!" I snapped. 

"So, you haven't realized it yourself," Vorona sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you if I see him around. If I do see him, I'll capture him for you," she smiled and waved before walking away. Should I be thankful? That seemed like a threat to Izaya. I don't understand why she would help me find the person I supposedly 'like' when she likes me. Is Vorona just a lot nicer than I thought?

Sigh. It doesn't matter. Two people looking is a lot better than one. I would love to give that smug bastard a good punch right now. Unfortunately, I don't have a clue as to where he might be. 

Why did he leave in the first place? I've been trying to come up with an answer and nothing comes to mind. I can't be  _that_  stupid, right? Damnit. 

"Shizuo!" Shinra is running towards me. He is waving like a madman.

"What do you want?" I ask. 

He frowns. "You seem lonely. I just want to keep you company. I've experienced love troubles myself. I know it sucks to be alone after you've just been dumped. But, never fear! I'm sure it'll all work out eventually!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked. Love troubles? Being dumped? None of these things have ever happened.

"Hm," Shinra placed a hand on his chin. He looked deep in thought. "Do you miss Izaya? Do you care about Izaya? Do you keep thinking about him? Things he might say? Or do? If he was still here?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I frowned.

"Shizuo," Shinra placed a hand on my shoulder. He was giving me a look of sympathetic pity. "Just let me hang out with you for a bit, okay?" he smiled. It didn't look like I had a choice. I might as well just play along. Shinra was weird. I never understand a single thing he says or does. I doubt I ever will.


	9. Chapter IX

Trees. Trees. So many trees. Finding one of the warlock's (not so secret) bases was as easy as breathing. It just took a lot of leg work. Izaya sighed. These individuals were so stupid. It reminded him of small animals. Cute. Cuddly. Obtusely adorable. Would they let him snuggle them like one would a hamster? Probably not. But, that was fine...for the most part. He couldn't suppress his intense desire to, however. Elves were just  _cute_. Especially the blonde ones with anger issues... Not to name any names but we all know who Izaya is thinking about. It's Thranduil. Obviously. The best damn elf in existence. Forget about Legolas. We stan an antler-wearing, Loki loving, bitch ass by the name of Thranduil in this household. Say what you will, but you have to appreciate the father before you can worship the son. Was he blonde? His hair was more of a white...Izaya shrugged and continued moving.

One foot after the other. Bam. There is that hideout. A hollowed out tree with some depressing decor. Warlocks, gotta love 'em. Izaya didn't bother hiding. That was too much work. He was here for a simple purpose. So, time to walk right in and join the crowd. Lurking in plain sight was the best thing to do. Namie was standing on a pedestal on a makeshift stage in front of everyone. She was going to divulge the plan. Izaya sighed. She must be really proud of herself for doing all of this. 

She scanned the crowd, checking faces, and made eye contact with Izaya. Her eyes widened, just a tad, and she jumped off the stage, pushing through the crowd. She grabbed Izaya by the collar of his shirt and sneered in his face. Always the pleasant one, wasn't she? Where did she learn her manners? 

"Hello, Namie.~ How are you doing?" he smiled. She glared. Very rude. You shouldn't glare at people like that. You might hurt their feelings. Not that Izaya had feelings to hurt, of course, but other people do. Sneering, in the very least, could get a certain Shizu-Chan to throw something at you. That was bad for business. Namie didn't want something thrown at her, right? So, stop glaring at people. 

"What are  _you_ doing here?"  

"I am here to help, of course." Obviously. What else would he be here for? Entertainment? Oh, honey, there were far more entertaining things in this world than this sorry excuse for a war meeting. Izaya was more interested in starting wars and not fighting in them. But, whatever, he had to play nicely with the children. 

"You can't help in that condition," Namie eyed him up and down. "I'll have them make a healing potion for you. We could use an extra set of limbs. On second thought, why don't I just strap a bomb to you and throw you into enemy territory?" she smirked. "You were always terrible at fighting. Maybe you'll actually injure someone if you are the weapon." 

"Namie, you're so kind," Izaya clapped his hands together as he tilted his head to the side. The fine lines on his face not revealing what he truly thought. As usual. "How did you know I wanted to die so badly? I'm touched, truly, that you would be so considerate of my feelings. But, I think I shall have to pass on the offer. I'll take the healing potion, though." 

"I know you don't mean that. Say what you really mean," Namie rolled her eyes. She walked back up on the stage and faced the crowd. It was time to discuss the mission. Izaya shrugged, swaying from side to side as he looked around. He didn't need to be told what they were going to do. He already knew it. Warlocks never changed their overall method of action. Neither did elves, for that matter, but it didn't bother him any. He just wanted this war to end. Well, part of him did. The other part wanted it to keep going until both sides eventually killed each other. They deserved it. What started this war again? Wasn't it a romance of some sort? Izaya scratched his head. Ugh. This just needed to end already.

Was this  _really_ the best plan though? Shizu-Chan could beat all of these sorry excuses of a warlock in a heartbeat. Ah, he was thinking about Shizuo again. That wasn't good. Izaya ran a hand through his hair and sighed. There was still time for him to escape. Nothing was forcing him to stay here. He could always live in the woods until a peace treaty came about. His own kind hated him. The light elves certainly wouldn't want a warlock living with them. It was amazing he managed to last as long as he did living there. 

Hm. What to do, what to do...well, he'd just have to figure it out when he had to figure it out. In any case, hitching a ride back with these losers meant he would see Shizu-Chan again. Not that he wanted to, but he kind of wanted to. Shizu-Chan, Shizu-Chan, darling lovable angry, Shizu-Chan. Guess who is coming home, sweetie.


	10. Chapter X

A loud and miserable noise echoed in his ears. It erupted throughout the city of Ikekukuro. Elves ran around in chaos. Some ran towards the sound. Others stood stone still, waiting for their next orders. Shizuo was one of those elves. He stood, staring in the direction of the blast, not moving much. What caused it? He was curious but not curious enough to run. Something was strange. An ominous feeling overcame him. 

He ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Izaya? Maybe it was Izaya. Only Izaya would do something so flashy. Anticipation, hope, a mixture of the two, Shizuo ran faster. Maybe he could help those injured. Maybe he could figure out the root to the problem. Maybe he would see Izaya again. Any one of those things would be worth it.

The closer he got the more enemies he saw. It was an all-out attack. Elves fighting each other. Warlocks vs Rangers. The standard scene. It hadn't once crossed the borders of Ikekukuro before. This battle would be big. Likely the last one. Shizuo needed to do something. Why did he expect anything different? Why did he think that perhaps it had just been a loud noise? 

He scanned the area. The destruction was limitless. Everything was as destroyed as it possibly could be. Bodies, blood, angry cries. Elves screaming while holding their loved ones. Izaya? He whipped his head around. No, it wasn't him. He was seeing things. Why did he have to think about that pesky flea at a time like this? It wasn't right. If the two saw each other they'd have to fight. He shouldn't  _want_ that. Was he even here? Would he really be such a dick to attack the place that took him in? Sure, he hadn't stayed that long and was probably a spy, but still...there had to have been  _some_ sort of relationship between them...a positive one, that is.

His eyes briefly met with a warlock standing on a rooftop not far from his own. The warlock looked away, staring at the scene below, watching the fight take place. He didn't look nearly as amused as he wanted to be. Shizuo barely recognized him. Izaya would be the one to smirk in this situation, so, why wasn't he smirking? Ah, no, there it was. That stupid grin. The demon. 

He had something in his hand, a button of some sort, the wind lifted his jacket ever so slightly. Shizuo could see the makings of a bomb. A bomb? Was Izaya going to blow himself up? He ran as fast as his body could take him. He ran and he jumped and he grabbed Izaya, forcing them to crash into the roof. The two tumbled off of it, falling to their doom. Shizuo broke the fall. 

"Somone," Izaya groaned. "is excited to see me." Shizuo rolled on top of Izaya, pinning him to the ground, glaring ferociously. 

"I'm going to kill you." 

"Oh?~ Did you miss me that much? I'm honored, you know?" he laughs. 

Shizuo growls. He wanted to wipe that smirk right off of Izaya's face. If the male just stopped moving around he could kill him swiftly, but he kept trying to escape Shizuo's strong grip. Izaya dropped the button. He was trying to reach it, but to Shizuo it only seemed as if he was trying to run away again. He wanted to kill him. Did he really want to kill him? Why was he so angry anyway? Izaya didn't do anything to him specifically. He had his own reasons for running. Maybe he didn't even run...maybe he was captured...

"What are you going to do now that you've caught me? Shizu-Chan?" he didn't seem concerned in the slightest. Does he not understand the danger of this situation? They were lying on the ground in the middle of a battle. People on all sides were dying, fighting, screaming. Did he not care? 

"I hate you," Shizuo admitted. Izaya didn't seem surprised. His expression barely changed. What else would Shizuo feel for him besides hatred? Everyone else hated him. Shizuo hadn't been any different. "I hate you so much," Shizuo continued. 

"That's good," Namie smiled, picking up the remote. "It wouldn't have worked if you liked him any. You've done well, Izaya, capturing the strongest ranger. I appreciate it." Her finger hovered over the button that would ensure their demise. 

"You're going to get caught in the blast too..." Izaya said. 

"All for the good of the cause, isn't that right?" 

"Shizu-Chan," Izaya sighed, closing his eyes. "I know that you hate me and would love to kill me by your own hands...but..." Izaya shoved him off. He stood up, running away full speed, not allowing Shizuo to catch up. "I simply," he said, smiling sadly as he ran. Shizuo not nearby to see his face or to stop him. 

"I simply hate you too." 

_Click._

_Boom._

 


End file.
